Killing Me Slowly
by TheOutsidersFanatic
Summary: When the youngest member of the Curtis household comes down with a life-threatening illness, its up to the family to stick together and help him overcome it. But will their prayers be enough?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys! As always, thanks so much for reading this! It means the world to me :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders. SE Hinton does.**

Killing Me Slowly

"C'mon little man! Wake up, time for school." Darry shakes me.

Groaning, I roll away from the touch into Soda's unoccupied spot and snuggle deeper underneath the blankets.

"Ponyboy, get up, let's go." He walks out of the room, turning on the light as he goes. I sigh and pull the comforter over my head, trying to fall back asleep. I'm not a morning person- never was, probably never will be. The bed dips down as a sudden weight bounces on it.

"Is someone being a bad little boy and not waking up?" Soda finds me easily and starts tickling me. I'm instantly out of my sleepy state and soon feel another weight on the bed.

_"Oh, no! Not Darry too!" _I think.

Another pair of hands pull down the blankets and join in the tickling. Sure enough, it's Dare.

"G-guys! I'm up, I'm up!" I stammer out between laughs. Our war is cut short as we all run out of breath. Darry leaves the room smiling and Sodapop follows…dancing. Dancing? What is wrong with my brother?

Smiling, I sit up and plod to the bathroom.

"Hurry up Pone! You're gonna be late!" Fun-Darry is gone once again as he calls from the living room.

"I'm comin', I'm comin'."

Two-Bit picks me up from school and we drive to the DX. I barely see Steve- his legs hanging out from under a car. Sodapop waves from inside, his feet propped up on the counter. A bunch of girls are surrounding him.

"Hey Pony!" he calls when Two-Bit and I get inside, "Hey Two-Bit!"

"Hello Sodapop!" Two-Bit throws on a fake British accent and pulls out a beer from the cooler. He pops the lid and gulps about half of it down, flipping Soda the money happily.

My brother shrugs off the girls and throws his arm around my shoulder.

"What's up little brother?" he flashes his award-winning smile. Thankfully, the girls leave- giggling and smiling- whispering to each other as if they just kissed him or something.

"Not much." I give him my best fake smile. I don't feel too hot. A bit nauseous, actually. We have a big track meet coming up, its probably just nerves. No way am I telling Soda about it though, he'll demand I go home and rest.

Some big guy walks in looking mad.

"Oh boy. I gotta go help him, see you guys later." Soda walks to the man and follows him out, the little bell jingling as the door closes.

Two-Bit flicks his finger toward them and walks out as well. With a sigh, I force myself forward and follow like a little puppy- like Johnny used to do with Dallas.

Back at home, my stomachache isn't any better. I flop onto the couch and lay there, staring up at the ceiling.

A loud slam makes me jump. Darry walks in the door and tosses his work belt on the ground. A car outside starts and drives away- Two-Bit. I guess I fell asleep.

I must not look so great because Darry's face fills with concern when he sees me, "How you feeling little man?" he crouches next to me and puts the back of his hand on my forehead. His hand is cold and I squirm away.

"I'm fine." I give him a small glare.

"You sure Pony? You feel kinda hot." He disappears for a moment before returning with the thermometer in his hand.

"Darry, don't make me." I mutter. I hate thermometers, I'm not sure why, its just one of those things.

"C'mon, open up." He pushes me up and sits on the couch where my head was.

Groaning, I do what he says and allow him to stick the stupid thing in my mouth. I lean on my brother's shoulder and wait for the beep. When it goes off, he reads it out loud.

"98.9. Hmm, I guess you're not sick then." He trails off, not realizing I just plopped my head in his lap. Darry starts to stand but notices my head. He gives me a funny look. I haven't laid in his lap in years.

I read his expression, "Just a little tired, that's all. I'm fine." Soon though, my statement is changed.

I bolt up off of his lap and run to the bathroom, flipping up the toilet seat just in time to throw up my lunch. Darry appears in the doorway, bends down toward me, grabs a damp towel and wipes my mouth off. Thanks Dare.

"Something tells me you're not okay." He pulls me into his lap and pushes my head down on his shoulder.

"Yeah." I mumble, blinking sleepily.

Thankfully he makes no move to take me anywhere so I yawn and slowly float into a dreamless sleep.

When I wake up, I'm laying on the couch wrapped up in a couple blankets. The room is dark except for a bright light emanating from the TV. I roll onto my back and look across to a dark figure. When it stands, I know immediately its Sodapop. I can tell by his thin frame and the way he rushes over to me.

"Hey little colt, lets go to bed." he pushes the hair out of my face.

When I nod, he shuts off the television and comes back to me. Soda holds out his hand and helps me up, trailing behind to our room. Once in bed, he pulls me to him, rubbing my stomach like Mom used to. Sodapop's breath warms my neck as he murmurs an old song Darry used to sing all the time. I suppress a tiny chuckle despite the circumstances. In a few moments, I'm asleep, Soda's voice playing over and over in my head.

In the morning, I wake up really early- 3 AM- but I'm not tired anymore. Wriggling out of Soda's grip, I wander to the bathroom to take a shower. There's this small, stabbing pain in my stomach and I crumple to the floor yelping when I pull my shirt off. Lying there, the pain only worsens. I try curling up to make it go away but it isn't working. What was once small, now feels as if my whole stomach is on fire. Fire. No, don't think fire, think…under a lamp. Tears prick at my eyes and soon I'm sobbing on the bathroom floor. Darry comes walking in sleepily, scratching the hair on his chest. Thank goodness. When he sees me, his eyes fling open.

"Ponyboy? What's wrong?" he bends down by me and rubs my back. When I don't say anything he asks again, "Can you tell me what's wrong?"

"M-m-my s-stomach hurts!" I scream out the 'hurts' part and grip my legs tighter.

Sighing, he sticks his arm under my legs and the other on my back, rolls me into him, and stands up. I grip his shirt with my hand and stuff my face into his chest. Darry carries me to the couch and goes to get a couple aspirins and a glass of water. I take a deep, shuddering breath and quit crying, you just don't in front of Dare. He puts the aspirin in my mouth and holds the glass to my lips. I drink it greedily, the cold water running down my throat.

"You feel better Pone?" I nod, yawning, "Whelp, you got school today bud, you going?" he smiles; it doesn't completely reach his eyes.

I shrug. I don't really want to miss, but an excuse to lay around all day is great too.

"Gooooood morning world!" Soda hollers down the hall.

"Mornin Soda." Darry calls back, rolling his eyes.

I pick up my book from the side table and flip to a random page. I've read it a ton of times already. It's Gone with the Wind. Darry smiles when he sees me reading it.

"Must not be too sick, you're still reading." He laughs at his own joke.

I smile back, Darry doesn't laugh that often anymore, and so when he does it makes my heart swell up.

Soda pops in wearing his DX shirt and pajama pants. I half hear him ask what's for breakfast, too immersed in the book to pay any attention. I'm on the page that the Southern gentlemen ride into sure death because they're gallant. The one Johnny loved.

"Mr. Ponyboy Michael Curtis. You have got to stop reading that book. Its gonna fall apart and I don't think Johnny would like that very much." Two-Bit appears in my vision and ruffles my hair happily.

"Aw, shut up." I punch his arm playfully.

He grins. Two-Bit walks over to the TV and flips it on, turning it to Mickey just like I knew he would.

Steve and him bicker over something stupid before ending up on the ground. Two-Bit's using him as a mattress, laughing at his favorite mouse on the television screen.

"What're you doing about school Pone?" Darry calls from the dining room table, breaking me out of the south.

"I'm gonna stay here." I mumble.

"Two-Bit, can you watch him?"

"Course, not like I gotta job or anything." He laughs before turning back to the screen, eyes lighting back up.

"Darry, I'll be fine." I assure him, rolling my eyes a little.

"Sure Pone, but Two-Bit'll keep you company. Okay?" he tries to reason with me as he pulls on his work belt. "Soda, Steve hurry up!"

"Mhm." I rest my head on the back of the couch as Darry runs outside. Steve follows, slamming the door more so than necessary. Sodapop comes over to me, kisses my forehead- which he only ever does if I'm upset or sick- and goes with them, glancing back with a sympathetic smile.

Two-Bit randomly starts laughing like a hyena. I roll my eyes- him and that mouse.

"Two-Bit? Could we, uh, could we go see Johnny and Dallas?" I ask hesitantly. I don't know why I want to, the words just kinda flowed out of my mouth.

He gives me a funny look but nods once Mickey's over.

I get dressed real quick, ignoring the small burn in my stomach and we head off. Two-Bit insists on driving us, but I really just want to walk. Its only about five miles away.

Easily finding Johnny and Dally- there was a single half-dead flower on each, I crouch down beside them. Two-Bit gets the idea and backs off, wandering aimlessly.

"Hi Johnny. Hi Dal." I pick up Johnny's flower and play with the weeping petals. "We all still miss you guys so much." I place the flower back down and turn to Dallas. "Even you Dally." Picking at the grass, I blink back a small stinging in my eyes. "So something's up. I'm not sure what it is, I know you two won't be able to help, but I needed to vent to someone- well, someones. But anyway, something's wrong. I can feel it. Like that day you two died, I told Two-Bit something awful was going to happen and it did. I think it's about me. I've felt kinda out of it the past week. I've tried to keep it from the gang, but they're catching on. The weird thing is though, is that there's this small little burn in my stomach that doesn't go away. At all." A single tear rolls down my cheek as I continue to talk to the lifeless rocks, wishing I could confide in Johnny again. "If you can do anything to change whatever this bad feeling is…" I let the thought drift off. Something wet hits my arm. I look above me- no Two-Bit- and wipe my face, nothing except for a small trail of tears. More water hits my arms and my brain registers that it's raining. Two-Bit appears behind the gravestones and looks at me sadly.

"Sorry kiddo, we gotta go. Don't want you to get sick, it's pretty chilly out. Winter's comin'" He holds out his hand to help me up.

"Thanks." I whisper, smiling weakly.

Naturally, the bus just drove off, so we have to trek it back. A rumble of thunder growls in the sky and I try not to flinch. Thunderstorms terrify me. It's like me not being a morning person- always have and probably always will.

Two-Bit starts running to avoid the storm. I trail right behind, the burn in my stomach growing with each smack of foot on pavement. Once we get home I strip off my soaked shirt and flop onto the couch, wrapping the blankets from last night around me.

_Please Johnny, Dally. Please don't let anything bad happen._

**A/N: Yes? No? Thoughts? That's what that little box below is for! Thanks again!  
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	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hi everybody! Thanks so much for all the reviews, follows, favorites, and views! :) You guys (and girls) are wonderful! Here's chapter 2! I've written up to 5, so updates will be pretty consistent up until then.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders. I promise! I just like to throw them in very angst-y situations!**

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"Hey Sleeping Beauty." Two-Bit grins from the floor.

Blinking I look around confused. Why was I sleeping on the couch? A growl of thunder reminds me of earlier and also, unfortunately, makes me flinch.

"What's wrong Pone?" his eyes get serious for a second.

I shake my head in fake disbelief as lightning illuminates the sky. I flinch again, pulling the blankets over my head.

An engine rumbles in the drive and I know its Darry. Can't really roof houses in the rain. He enters with a slam of the door.

"Hey Superman, you're a little wet." I hear Two-Bit laugh. Knowing my brother, he glared.

"Ponyboy." His hand rests on my shoulder.

I grip the hem of the blankets harder as the storm continues outside.

The couch dips under his weight. "C'mere." Darry reaches around my shoulders and pulls me into his chest comfortingly. The TV changes voices and I know Two-Bit is looking for Mickey.

There's a crack of lightning followed immediately by a massive rumble of thunder. My stomach makes a violent jump and I feel sick. Bolting up off the couch, I have a replay of the other day. Groaning, I lean back onto the cold, hard wall. Dare magically appears in the doorway and looks down at me. I glance up at him.

"Make it go away Darry. Please." I plead, feeling tears well in my eyes.

He comes toward me and bends down, kissing my head gently. "I will little buddy, I will."

Dare carefully lifts me off the ground and carries me in his room. I scramble underneath the blankets and trap myself inside them. Warmth emanates from my brother as he lays next to me. He throws his arm around my shoulder and lets me curl into his broad chest.

"Shh, it's okay Pony. You're okay, Darry's here." He rubs my back as I shiver next to him trying to keep the sobs from overtaking me.

I wrap my arms around his bare stomach as the storm rages on, squeezing him tightly. There's a slam from the living room and I hear the happy-go-lucky voice of my brother. Two-Bit mumbles something and Soda's voice quiets.

A moment later, the door creaks open and light fills the bedroom. I hide deeper under the blankets and Darry's arm.

"Hey." He whispers to Dare.

"Hi little buddy." I feel his chest vibrate as he talks.

"Hey Pony." Soda runs his hand through my hair and kisses the back of my head. "What's wrong baby?"

I open my mouth to speak just as more thunder storms around in the clouds. I shudder and grip Dare as tight as possible. He rubs small circles on my back comfortingly.

"Pone, can you look at me?" Sodapop rubs my shoulder softly. I obey and peek up at him. "I won't let anything hurt you, okay?" the corners of his lips lift up slightly as he smiles lightly.

I nod and hide back into Darry. Soda leaves, slowly closing the door. Dare's chest vibrates as he sings quietly, lulling me to sleep.

A nightmare breaks me out of my sleep. I wake up in a cold sweat and feeling sick, but my brother is like a hibernating bear. I push closer to him and lay there, shivering under his arm for a little before giving up.

"Darry?" I shake him awake.

"Hmm?" his deep voice rumbles loudly in the quiet room as his eyes flutter open.

With one look at me, he sighs and pats my head, getting up and walking away. I hear rustling in the other room and he reappears with a trash can and thermometer. Darry sits next to me on the edge of the bed and holds out the thermometer. I obediently stick it under my tongue, too exhausted to protest. He rubs my back as we wait for the beep. When it goes off, he takes the thing out of my mouth and looks at it.

"How 'bout we take you to the doctor in the morning, huh little buddy?" he asks quietly, a quick flash of fear passing through his eyes.

I shrug and lay back down, making sure the waste basket is beside me. Darry sits awake with me all early morning until dawn breaks. The nausea hasn't gone away, if anything, I feel worse. The sheet sticks to my chest and sweat droplets run down the sides of my face. With a groan, I curl into a small ball. I'm still not sure what my temperature was, but by the small look of shock, I guess it's not good. When the alarm goes off, Darry quiets it and leaves. I can hear talking through the wall. Mainly Dare's voice, but I also can barely make out Soda's "morning grumpies" as Mom would have said.

I hear a groan- from Soda- and rustling across the hall. A few minutes later, he pokes his head in and smiles weakly at me, clad in a pair of plaid pajama bottoms.

"Hey Pone. How ya feelin'?" he walks in and sits beside me.

"Bad." I mutter- amazed with how weak my voice sounds.

I hear the shower start running and my brother goes out into the hall.

I float in and out of sleep for the next hour or so as my brothers run around the house.

"Ready to go little man?" Dare's quiet voice pokes me out of sleep.

I yawn and nod, struggling out of bed. The small burn rages through my stomach as I move and I fold over, crumpling to the floor with a yelp. Darry groans before coming to me and helping me stand. He somehow knows I won't ask for help when he silently lifts me up into his arms and carries me out to the truck. Sodapop is already sitting there waiting for us, a concerned look plastered on his face. Dare sets me down on the seat and I slide down into a laying position, head in Soda's lap. He plays with my hair absent-mindedly.

"Pony, baby, c'mon, wake up." I blink awake and look around. We're in some room. There's a small child there with his parents. The room is filled with toys and books. In my sleepy state, it takes me a while to register that we're at the pediatrician's. Darry is standing already and Soda is stuck underneath my head. There's a nurse standing in the doorway with light pink scrubs.

I put on a brave-face and stand up, inwardly groaning at the burn. My brothers help me down the hall to the office.

"Just sit tight, the doctor will be right with you." She gives a small, fake smile before leaving the room with a small click of the door. There is nothing I hate more than fake sympathy. Well, maybe bologna.

"How ya feelin' Ponyboy?" Sodapop hops up on the bed with me.

Yawning, I shrug.

Darry fiddles with his thumbs in a chair in the corner of the room. He's worried. I feel bad for making him do all this. I'm about to apologize to them when I hear the door creak slightly. Soda gets down and sits by Dare, patting his shoulder. In walks our doctor, smiling. I doubt there's been a time I haven't seen him smile during an appointment.

"Hello Ponyboy." He smiles at me and pats my knee.

"Hello Doctor Brooks." Darry gives a slight nod.

Doctor Brooks has been our family doctor for as long as I can remember.

This one time when we were little, Dare broke his wrist while playing football. He screamed so loud it basically echoed throughout the city. Dad bolted up and before I knew it we were in the car, following an ambulance to the hospital. Doctor Brooks kept us all calm and even snuck me and Sodapop a sticker- all the while _smiling_ at how 'boys will be boys.' It wasn't a mocking smile, just a goofy grin. He somehow managed to still stay serious in what he was doing though. It's been an unspoken pact between the three of us since then to respect him and be as nice as possible.

He was also the last one to see Mom and Dad before the autopsy. As soon as word spread that it was our parents that were killed, Doctor Brooks drove out there- at three in the morning- to go see them. He was the only person that would tell us anything about how they died. Well, he told Darry, but its close enough. Throughout this whole mess, he's been by our side the whole time. But unlike the others, he respects the fact that he'll never be our parents and doesn't try to interfere. Doctor Brooks is probably the first adult I would go to if I needed help with something.

He's a short old man with almost no hair and he's nice. Really nice. In a way, Sodapop resembles him. Not in the looks bit- but in the attitude and way of living life. I bet Doctor Brooks was just like Soda when he was young. Normally he can be a really funny guy, but I guess people just aren't the same at 6:30 in the morning.

He asks me some questions- mainly just things like, "Do you smoke? Do you drink? Are you allergic to anything?" Stuff like that- and then goes on as if it was a regular check-up.

"Okay, well, Ponyboy." He starts, looking over his papers. "I hear you have been nauseous and vomiting. Correct?"

I nod, not in the mood to talk.

"You also have a loss of appetite and had stomach pain?"

I hide a grimace as he says stomach pain. It feels like it just ignited the burn. I nod and glance at my brothers. Soda is staring at Doctor Brooks intently whereas Darry is more focused on his lap. Both have worried expressions on their faces. None of us like the doctors. Especially since Dally and Johnny died. We refused to talk to even Doctor Brooks unless one of us was sick.

"Okay, just as precaution, we're going to send you to the hospital." He says, a sad, sideways smile on his face. The expression on his face is pure sympathy. Pure, true sympathy. I'm instantly thankful for having such an amazing man as our doctor.

My throat makes a strangled sound. I look at Soda and Darry. They both have the same worried looks plastered on their face. I turn my attention back to Doctor Brooks.

"T-thank you doctor." Darry gives a grim nod.

"Of course. Floor Three, Oncology."

I slowly turn my head to look at Dare. Tears prick at my eyes and my attempts to stop the tears fail. With a final goodbye, he leaves the room- head down and sniffling slightly. I didn't realize how much we're like his kids. Doctor Brooks never got married, so he never had kids. I guess us three kind of took that place as his children. Even more so since Mom and Dad died. Like he felt the need to take us under his wing and protect us, but still knew that we weren't his family and we had to do this on our own.

As soon as the door clicks closed, Darry rushes over, engulfing me in a hug. I feel the sobs silently rack through his body, it's as if they're in time with mine.

"W-what does Oncology mean?" Soda asks hesitantly. He walks toward us and rubs both our backs. He dropped out, he wouldn't know. I open my mouth to speak, but I can't make a sound.

Darry releases me slightly and looks at Sodapop. His eyes are glassy and shimmering with unshed tears. His chest rises with a shaky breath.

"Cancer, Soda. It means cancer." His voice breaks and a steady flow of tears course down his face.

Soda has a blank, scared expression on his face and is staring into space.

"S-Soda?" I whisper, trying to break him out of the trance. He whips his head to look at me.

"Oh, Pony." His dam of tears is broken as well and he too starts crying.

Darry pulls me close again and Sodapop flings his arms around the two of us. To anyone who might've heard us it would've sounded like someone just died, but it was close enough. Dare keeps trying to pull himself together and quit, but we can both feel the sobs still racking through him even when the tears stop. Soda is bawling like he did the day Mom and Dad died, only this time, there's more tears. And me? I'm crying myself dry, scared of dying, scared of the fight ahead, but most of all, scared of losing my brothers.

_Johnny? Dally? I thought you guys were going to try and keep us together._

**A/N: I was kind of iffy on keeping that ending. I'm not sure if I made them overreact...if so, I'm sorry! But...y'know...I can always improve...but only if you tell me what you think! :) Reviews are _always_ welcome! Thanks for reading, hope you liked it!  
-TheOutsidersFanatic  
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	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello everybody! First things first, to those who reviewed and asked how Doctor Brooks could've known he possible had cancer, here you go. (This also sort of contributes to the under-reactive Darry a little bit)  
After Dally was shot, Ponyboy then passed out. From all we know in the book, he was in the hospital for a while. I'm assuming they would've taken blood tests. So, for this story, my mind told me- "Okay, so, Pony was in the hospital. They took blood tests and realized a few cells were cancerous. Because the brothers were barely getting along, they told Darry and gave him the option of whether or not to do anything about it. At that point, they thought that the medication Pone was on would hopefully get rid of those few cells. So Darry said that they would wait and see what happens. He never told Ponyboy. And now that these symptoms are coming up, Doctor Brooks is assuming its those cancerous cells taking action. He never said for sure that he did have cancer, he was sending him to the hospital so they could see if he did."  
I am, by no means, in the medical field. Heck, I'm not even in college! So, if my terminology is wrong or something that I have happen is wrong, please let me know.  
Thanks so much for all the reviews! I'm sorry I couldn't get back to everyone. Keep 'em coming! :)\  
**

**Disclaimer: I _do__ not_-under any circumstances- own The Outsiders...unfortunately.**

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"D-Darry?" I lean forward in the seat.

"Yeah, little man?" his voice is rough from crying, all of ours are.

"What are we gonna do about bills?" I know I have cancer, just like how I knew when Johnny and Dal died. Just because my life is so wildly perfect.

"Don't worry about it Pony." Dare keeps his eyes on the road.

"No. I don't want you guys to have to work more. You're already working too much."

"Ponyboy. Stop worrying about it. Your health is more important than any of that." Sodapop snaps.

I flinch. He notices too. Soda's face softens and he looks at me sadly.

"I'm sorry Pone. I'm just really stressed." He smiles weakly, a sad smile that makes him look so much younger than he is. He pats my knee and kisses my temple. "It'll be okay. Everything'll be alright."

I bite back a smart-aleck comment and sit back in the seat, bracing myself for the possible news.

The rest of the ride is quiet. A tense, scary quiet that just doesn't happen with a couple teenage boys.

The three of us walk side-by-side to the elevator. Darry presses the '3' button and we ride up. It's weird. Normally Soda and I would fight over who got to push the button, but we're all just sitting there like a bunch of logs.

I say a quick, silent prayer as we walk into the waiting room.

"Hello? How can I help you?" the nurse motions Darry over. Soda takes me to a small bench and we sit.

I look around the room. It's mainly a bunch of older folks. No one under twenty. Well, other than me and my brothers. Some of them stare at us, others look gloomily in their laps. I don't blame them, this isn't exactly a party. I hear Dare across the room.

"Yes, I'm Darrel Curtis, Ponyboy's legal guardian." He nods and pulls out his wallet.

I smile weakly inside, he's such an amazing brother. Glancing at Sodapop my mind flashes back to before- before Mom and Dad died, when we were a big happy family. _No. You're not dead yet Ponyboy Curtis, don't think that way, you can't think negatively._

Darry shortly joins us and sits beside me. I'm sandwiched in between my brothers and instantly feel safer. Taking a deep breath, I lean over and rest my head on Dare's bicep. I reach over his lap and pull at his wrist. He takes his hand out of the pocket and holds mine. Soda does the same on the other side of me. I squeeze both, hard. Nothing can break us. We've gone through so much together, this is just another one of those things.

"Ponyboy Michael Curtis." A nurse in light blue calls to me from the other side of the room.

The three of us stand and walk toward her- me slightly in front. She gives a fake smile. I try hard not to glare.

The lady leads us down a big hall to a small, secluded room. Echoes of families crying sound throughout the back and I shudder. Sodapop rubs my arm and kisses my forehead.

"Don't worry." He whispers before sitting by Darry. The room is really dim and there's this big machine next to the bed.

A small, quiet knock rattles the door.

"C'mon in." Dare says calmly.

"Hello boys. I'm Doctor Ford." She shakes my hand slightly and turns to my brothers.

Doctor Ford looks like she's in her thirties and has flowy blonde hair. She actually reminds me a little of Sandy. Her eyes are a bright, cheery green but everything about them looks fake. They're just _too_ bright. Too happy to be working in a cancer ward. She's a little taller than me, so I guess for her age, she's short. She looks nice, but I'm really not itching to get to know her better.

"Hi, I'm Darrel, this is my brother Sodapop." He stands and also shakes her hand.

"Okay, well, what I've been told is that Mr. Ponyboy here had some symptoms for pancreatic cancer. What we're going to do here, today, is perform an ultrasound to see if that is true. If we can't find anything, we'll also go ahead with an endoscopic ultrasound. I won't get into much detail about that though. So first off, we'll do a quick checkup and then get on with the show." She says everything so cheerfully that I just about slug her. I'm too focused on that to realize what she just said.

After a very awkwardly glum and dreary checkup, she has me lay down on the bed.

"Okay, well, now, we're gonna stick this gooey stuff on your tummy and check inside of you." She's talking as if I'm four. I am on the verge of punching her. I really am.

Sodapop clears his throat and looks at me pointedly. Inwardly groaning, I turn back to the doctor.

I easily pull my shirt over my head, brushing off the stupid burn. Smiling, she grabs this little bottle of some gel-like stuff and squeezes it on my stomach. I flinch from the cold. It's like ice in a bottle. Doctor Ford grins and smears it around my abdomen carefully.

"Darrel., you may want to come over here for this." Both Darry and Soda walk to the machine and stare at it. Darry looks tensed up and worried while Soda just looks scared. Flat-out scared.

The doctor pulls out a little roller thing and presses it lightly on the gel. The dark screen magically illuminates with a black and white image of my stomach. She moves it around slowly.

"So there's his liver, stomach." She points to the screen, voice suddenly focused and serious. "Here we are. Oh." Her voice trails off and she slowly lowers her arm.

I try to read my brothers expressions, but they're both blank in disbelief. I close my eyes tight, trying to wake up from this horrible nightmare.

"Ponyboy. Sweetie?" I open my eyes and look at her. "I'm sorry, but," she swallows hard, obviously affected by this- although I don't know why she should be. She's not the one who now has to fight to live. She doesn't have to worry about losing her brothers. No, she has a great job and a good life. "you have pancreatic cancer."

Soda makes a strangled sound and quietly exits the room. I hear him crying and screaming- punching the walls, doors, anything. Anything that gets in his way. Anything that can prevent him from keeping us together. Darry excuses himself to go calm him down, his strong form starting to shake as well. I sit in disbelief, staring at that screen. At the big black spot that sits right where there should be white. She ushers me to the bathroom to clean the gunk off. I roughly wipe my stomach, tears streaking down my cheeks. Why me? Why does everything happen to us?

There's a small, timid knock on the door and the knob twists, revealing my brothers. I run to Soda and he attacks me in a hug. Darry stands outside the bathroom helplessly, holding us tight. We cry in each other's arms for a while before the doctor comes looking for us. She guides us back to the room and allows Soda and Darry to sit by me.

"I hate this part of my job, but here goes nothing." She looks me deep in the eyes. "You have Stage III cancer. What that means is that the tumor has spread into blood vessels, but hasn't metastasized." Soda opens his mouth to ask something, but she holds up her hand to cut him off, "Metastasized means that it's spread to other organs. In that case, there is no treatment at all." She looks sad, mad, and scared all at once. "Besides that, because _your_ tumor has grown into major blood vessels, it can't be removed safely by surgery."

I groan quietly, and squeeze my eyes shut. This can't be happening.

"The only way to possibly get rid of the cancer is by chemotherapy." She gives us a sympathetic look- a real one. "Would you like to schedule another appointment later to go over treatment?"

"Yes, please. That would be great." Darry's voice is quiet and husky but it echoes through the silent room.

"Okay, Darrel, please come with me." The two leave and I turn to Sodapop.

"Why Soda?" I give him a pleading look, eyes watering again.

"I don't know baby, I just don't know." He pulls me into his chest and rubs my back softly.

The ride back home was identical to the one on the way there, completely silent. Tense and thick with worry, tears slipping constantly. A car is parked in the driveway- Two-Bit. _How wonderful…_

As we open the door, Two-Bit and Steve bolt upright.

"How are ya Pone?" Two-Bit's eyes are dark and stormy, complete opposite from the normal dancing grey eyes I'm used to.

"I have cancer." My voice breaks with a sob and I plop on the couch, defeated.

They both look shocked. Shocked, scared, and sad.

"I'm sorry man." Steve ruffles my hair, truly upset.

Tears stream down my cheeks and I brush them away impatiently. Sodapop sits next to me and holds me in his arms as I cry. I can hear Darry and the boys in the kitchen talking. I block it out and focus on Soda's heartbeat.

"Don't worry baby, we'll get through this. It'll all be alright." He rubs my shoulder.

"No Soda." I pick my head up and look him dead in the eye, "It won't be alright. Things'll never be the same. _Ever._" The tears stop and I'm overcome with angriness.

Pushing through Soda's grip, I run down the hall to our room and slam the door closed.

"I hate you Johnny Cade!" I scream into the pillow, "I hate you! You were supposed to keep us together, not tear us apart. Do you find this funny? Do you want to see us slowly fading away from the rest of the world? I hate you! So damn much, Johnny Cade. So damn much." My voice slows and quiets as I snarl out the last bit.

The door flings open. Darry stands there.

"Go away!" I spat at him, annoyance and hatred dripping from my tone.

"Ponyboy Michael Curtis, don't you dare talk like that ever again" his voice is a quiet, scary-smooth, glossing over any emotion he feels right now. "I thought we went over this before. Life has to go on. Just because you have cancer-" his voice cracks a little, "doesn't mean you can use it as a crutch. It won't do anything to help you; it'll just make you seem like a whiny little brat that feels he can weasel his way out of everything. What if you got jailed? Cancer definitely wouldn't stop the state from taking you. And they won't. They'll gladly scoop you right out of here and take you somewhere new. Not as long as I am standing here, living and breathing, will you be taken out from under me. Especially not now. Not when you need us." He pauses and his voice softens to a whisper, "Not when we need you."

"I-I'm sorry Darry." I physically feel my eyes go back to their normal self, not blazing with hatred. I feel stupid. What just happened?

He comes and sits next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"What're we gonna do Dare?" I feel tears well up again. I hate being this emotional. Greasers are supposed to be tough- we don't feel things. _You get tough and you don't get hurt. You look out for yourself and nothing can touch you._

"I don't know little buddy." He rubs his forehead and kisses my hair. It's then that I see the impact this situation has had on our family. Not even Darry- not even _Superman_ knows what to do. How to fix it. I guess it's his kryptonite.

I realize in that moment, that even though we rely on Darry for everything, he's still just a kid. That even though we call him Superman, he's not. He can't be. It's impossible. I lean into his chest and take in the musky smell of his shirt. A smell so…Darry.

"Thanks for everything." I mumble, deciding this is good a time as ever to thank him.

His answer is a kiss on my temple and a quick squeeze. After a moment, I inwardly smile. I have the best brothers in the world. I can't imagine life without them there.

"I love you Darry." I can't remember ever telling him that I love him.

"I love you too little buddy." He kisses my head again and pulls me in tighter.

_I'm sorry Johnny. I just- I just don't want to lose my brothers- I can't lose them. Please keep watching out for us. I love you buddy._

**A/N: Thoughts? Comments? Concerns? Yay? Nay? Then go ahead and review! :) Another big thanks to those who reviewed, they keep me pushing forward. And, as always, thanks for reading! :)  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hi guys! Thanks for the additional favorites and follows! And, as always, thanks for the reviews! Speaking of reviews….**

**I've gotten some feedback on my medical knowledge. Now, I hate doing this and this will probably come off as rude, but it needs to be said. I did a very long, involved project on this type of cancer. I know what I'm talking about. I have done research. I'm not stupid enough to go into a medical related story with no knowledge on the subject. Also, I noticed practically all the reviews that have said these things are anonymous. If you don't have the guts to log in and tell me how you feel- because I would _love_ to get some constructive PM's from y'all- then I have very little respect for you. Its one thing to not have an account. Another to just pretty much bash on my story. I appreciate the fact you are trying to help, but you don't need to be so rude. I have feelings too. This isn't easy for me to post. Okay? So, this is my story. I know where I'm going with it. I know what I'm doing. And if you don't like it, then ignoring it is an easy thing to do...right?  
**

**Thank you so much for all the positive reviews, they're whats keeping me from just taking this story down. Because I'm honestly close to it. Hope y'all enjoy this chapter, there's a fluffy brother scene coming up soon! :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders**

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"Good morning Ponyboy. Sodapop, Darrel." Doctor Ford shakes our hands vigorously. What is up with her and her cheeriness? She's like Two-Bit before a rumble…well, maybe that's not such a good example.

"Hello." Darry gives a small nod, eyes hardening and emotion brushing away. Man, I wish I could do that.

"So have we decided to review chemo treatment?" she's all smiles as we talk. God, I hate her.

Dare nods again and looks up and she starts talking.

"Good good. Okay, well boys, chemotherapy is when drugs are injected into a person, either by mouth or by vein and needle, in order to fight off cancer. It could be given with radiation treatment to help that along, but its too severe to risk on Ponyboy. While the drugs kill off cancer cells, it also can harm some normal cells as well."

"What happens then?" Soda's voice breaks into my intent listening as he asks his question.

"Well, the side effects vary- as with anything. Nausea, vomiting, hair loss-" as she leafs through a couple of papers, my cringe going unnoticed. Hair loss. Anything but my hair. It just got back to normal. We have a reputation- greasy hair. If we don't fill that, then you might as well stick us in another country. "- increased chance of infection, shortness of breath. As I said, it varies. In this case however, chemotherapy is probably the safest option to try and fight the cancer out of Ponyboy."

"We'll go with that." Darry tells her, almost interrupting.

"But what about my hair?" I don't mean to say it, it just kind of happens.

"What?" He's taken off guard.

"My hair. She said I could lose my hair."

"Pony, would you rather lose your hair or die?" Sodapop says bluntly.

His statement is like a blow to the chest. All the air is knocked out of me as I look at my brother. He's playing with the seam of his jeans, not realizing how much that affected me.

"Shut up." I glare at him, waiting for a response. He doesn't move but I see a muscle in his jaw tense up.

Darry gives me a look that says "I'll whip you _both_ if you don't shut up."

I shrink in my seat, embarrassed. Doctor Ford just smiles and pretends whatever that was didn't just happen.

"So you do want the chemo?" she pulls out a pen and starts to write.

"Yes." Darry doesn't ask anything about costs- he's amazing.

"Okay, we'll begin treatment in two days, if that's all right." When Dare nods, she continues, "We'll do two weeks of observation as well, so Mr. Ponyboy here will get to spend some time here at the hospital. So we'll have a session in two days, then another in two more days and continue that pattern and then the two weeks. So, in all, you'll have seven sessions in this cycle. Okay?"

I nod, slightly confused, but not wanting to ask anything. I don't really trust myself right now.

"Great, then we'll see you in a couple days." With that, she leaves.

Darry stands and motions for us to follow. Oh, boy. I know that posture, he's gonna be mad.

In the car, Soda and I sit pretty far apart.

"What the hell was that in there?" he yells right after the door slams shut. It's directed toward me.

"Well, uh, I-" I'm not sure there's any way to put it without sounding like a moron.

"Exactly. You were thinking of yourself over your health. Well, you better listen Ponyboy, you gotta cut it out. You're sick and we need to keep you alive. Understand?" his voice quiets as he talks and I'm thankful. I have a headache from all the discussion earlier.

"Sorry." I mumble, looking in my lap like a little kid.

"And you Soda." He starts, shifting gears.

I hear a groan and look over, Sodapop turns and glares into the rearview mirror, "I know Darry. You don't need to lecture me." What's wrong with him?

Dare looks surprised too. Glad I'm not the only one.

"He has cancer. Fucking cancer, and he cares more about his hair than his health." My brother turns to face me this time, forehead creased and eyes slightly shimmery, "You could die Ponyboy. I don't want you to die. I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing there was some way I could've stopped it."

"Soda, I-" I start.

He holds up a hand and leans on the window. "I don't need to cry again today, thanks."

The short ride back home is silent, all of us reliving the day's events.

"Hey guys!" Two-Bit comes in, half-drunk. My bag is packed by the door for tomorrow. Two weeks. I'll be away from home for two weeks. That's even longer than when I went away with Johnny to that old church.

"Morning Two-Bit!" Soda smiles, "Where's Steve?"

"You think I know? Last I heard he was out with Evie." He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, making us both laugh.

"I can't believe you'll be gone for two whole weeks Pone." Two-Bit pounces next to me on the couch.

"Neither can we." Darry smiles lightly from the kitchen, laughing at our fight yesterday.

_"C'mon Pone, its only two weeks." He had said, trying to convince me. _

_ "Yeah, but that's a long time." I protested, packing away clothes._

_ "You'll sleep through half of it, I'm sure." He laughed lightly._

_ "This is serious Darry!" I whined, shaking his strong form._

_ "It'll be okay bud. Soda and I won't leave your side anyway." He ruffled my hair good-naturedly_

_ "You- you think that's why I don't want to go?" I lied, feeling red dust my cheeks._

_ Rolling his eyes, Darry had walked out of the room._

"Shut up." I mumble, smiling to myself as well.

Moments later, the door slams and Steve walks in grinning.

"Why so happy, Stevie?" Soda asks, his award-winning smile plastered on his face.

"Evie and I are planning a big night." He wiggles his eyebrows too.

"Wahoo!" Two-Bit hops up and claps his shoulder, "I'll join ya'll."

"Gross, Two-Bit." I mutter before heading to mine and Soda's room.

There's nothing to do, so I'm not sure why I'm even here. I already cleared the bookshelf. Darry didn't think I would need all the books, but I assured him otherwise. My sketchbook and pencils are already in the bag too. So, instead of going back out to the gang, I sneak to Dare's room and crawl into his bed, inhaling the musky smell of my brother. Digging into the covers, I curl in the blankets.

"Guys! Dinner!" Said brother calls from the kitchen. Groaning, I just stay there. I don't want to face my last meal with my brothers just yet.

"Ponyboy? Where are you?" I hear Soda rustling through the hall. He was never good at hide-and-seek.

"Check my room too." Dare hollers.

The door creaks open and light floods through.

"Hey kiddo." Soda comes up to the side of the bed. "Whatcha' doing in here?"

"I dunno." I mumble, rolling to face him. "I don't want to go Soda."

"I know baby, but they'll make you better." He gives a weak smile and brushes my hair back, knowing that I'm not talking about dinner. "What something to eat? Last meal at home for a while." His voice breaks a tiny bit, but his eyes don't betray his strong front.

"I guess so."

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Darry calls to me from the living room. I've decided to go on a last-time-in-the-house-for-two-week tour.

"Almost there! Hold on!" I holler back. I'm in Darry's room writing a little note,

_ Darry,  
When you read this, I'll be at the hospital probably  
getting another round of chemo, but don't worry, I'm  
still missing you two. Can't wait to come home! I  
love you two lots!  
-Pony_

Smiling in satisfaction, I lay it gently on the edge of his bed and walk out the door.

"Ready to go, baby?" Soda asks, holding my duffle.

"Ready as I'll ever be. Let's go." I say, shooing my brothers out the door.

"Hello boys." Doctor Ford smiles happily, leading us to a small room that'll be mine for the next two weeks. "This'll be your temporary home, okay Ponyboy?"

"Yeah." I force a smile and set my bag on the ground, pulling Gone With The Wind out. "Can I take this with me?"

"Of course!" she pats my back and takes us to an even smaller room with a couple chairs outside. "This is where we'll do the chemo treatments."

"Can we go in?" Soda asks protectively, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

"No, I'm sorry boys. The drugs used to cause you to get very ill." Her smile falters.

"But he's only fourteen." Darry protests. "I think we both have enough common sense not to touch whatever drug you're using."

"Its just precaution. We have very strict rules." She says, trying to fight back.

"I'm sorry Miss, but I'm going in there to be with my brother." Soda says stepping forward. "And there's nothing you can do about it."

Darry steps up as well and joins Sodapop in the protesting. "I'll be going in too. We lost our parents and have been through everything together. Oh, and last time I checked, I _am_ their legal guardian." He smiles slyly, knowing he's won.

"Well, alright boys. You two can enter, just be careful." She says defeated. Strict rules my ass.

I look up to a smiling Soda and grin myself. They just fought to be with me. My brothers just broke the rules to be in there with me. God, they're the best.

"Are you sure you guys want to do that?" I whisper as she preps the room.

"Of course little man. We're not leaving you." Darry ruffles my hair affectionately. I fix it instinctively, realizing it could be gone by the end of these two weeks.

"Oh, by the way," Soda smiles at his thought, "Two-Bit told me to tell you to punch cancer to the ground. Like it's a Soc and he just bit your favorite Mickey Mouse shirt."

Darry bursts out with sudden laughter and I join him. You just don't expect some thing's from that man-boy.

"Ponyboy, Sodapop, Darrel, the room is all ready." Doctor Ford opens the door and leads us in.  
My throat closes up on me, and my brothers' laughter disappears as well. We're all scared stiff. Dare and Soda pull the outside chairs in and surround me. Sodapop immediately takes my hand and strokes it with his thumb slowly.

"It'll be okay, kiddo" He whispers. "It's just a tiny needle."

My stomach jumps. A needle?

I'm terrified of needles. Needles and storms. Even more after Johnny died. Seeing him with all those needles in him didn't help anything. I take a deep breath and squeeze his hand.

Darry takes my other one and holds it just as tight.

"We're gonna stick this little needle into your arm and the drugs with drip through this thing." She points to a bag hanging from one of the coat rack type things. "It'll take a good couple hours. So, be prepared." Doctor Ford steadies the needle at my inside elbow and gives me a smile, "This'll only hurt a little"

I whimper out as the metal pokes through my skin and grip my brothers' hands as if I was falling and they were the only things that could save me.

_C'mon Johnny and Dal. Let's get through this. It's just one more little hurdle to jump. Then we're clear to sprint forward._

**A/N: Thanks again for everything! I appreciate you all so much! :) ...reviews would be nice... :3 **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Let's start on a clean slate, shall we? Hi guys! Thanks for bearing with me and my lack of time management skills! School's out on Friday though, so I'll be a bit quicker with updates. Everyone ready for that brother scene I was talking about? :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders or the other thing that I will specify at the bottom!**

**Enjoy!**

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"Shh, it'll be alright baby." Soda's soothing voice murmurs as he pulls back a single strand of sweaty hair off my forehead.

I let out a groan, trying to squirm away from the pain. I feel miserable. "It hurts Soda. Make it go away."

My stomach makes a violent jump and I lean forward, gagging.

"Relax little buddy." Darry whispers, rubbing my back. He gently pushes my head down onto his shoulder. I let a few burning tears slip, taking in a breath as they glide off my cheeks.

"It's okay Pony, we're here. You can sleep, we won't go anywhere." Soda smiles lightly, catching my fight to stay awake.

"You promise?" I mumble, sleepily holding out my pinky finger like a two year old.

Wordlessly, he wraps his around mine, planting a kiss on the side of my head. With a yawn, I close my eyes into a restless dark.

_"No! Help!" I cry out, blocking my face with my hands._

_ A large figure looms above, his face shadowed over as he throws down a busted up bottle. I flinch away from it, the movement earning a fist connecting to my jaw. Metallic fills my mouth and I spit out blood. The person flicks his hair back, familiar blue-green icy eyes staring down at me._

_ "D-Darry?" I whimper quietly, half to myself._

_ He grins devilishly, pulling me up by my shirt collar. I'm slammed back against the wall before plummeting down toward the hard concrete of the alleyway. He jabs his toe into my gut a couple times, knocking all the breath out of me._

_ "Soda! Soda, please!" I call, despite the fact that'll just earn me more hurt._

_ "He's not gonna save you this time." He snarls and I'm instantly scared stiff._

_ Darry bends down, bringing his fist against my stomach roughly._

_ "Soda" I stutter out in a whisper, praying he hadn't heard me._

_ "Pony-_

"Pony! Ponyboy! Wake up little buddy!" I blink open my eyes to find Darry shaking my shoulders.

I involuntarily flinch away, not exactly sure why I'm so scared of him. All I remember is hurt. Excruciating pain. Tears slip down my cheeks as I frantically glance around the room.

"Soda?" I call out panicky.

"He just went over to the bathroom, little buddy. It's okay, he'll be back in a little bit." Dare tries to grab hold of my hand, but I pull it back instinctively. Hurt flits across his eyes at the action.

"Soda! Soda, help!" I cry, squirming in my seat.

I'm terrified with my brother leaning above me. Even worse without Sodapop. My stomach tumbles around in circles and I feel bile rising up in my throat. Leaning over the armrest, I puke out of pure fear. It splatters into the garbage can with a sickly sound and I let out a tiny groan. My savior enters the room moments later, rushing to my side.

"Help me Soda." I mumble weakly, avoid eye contact with Darry.

He pushes Dare out of the way and I instantly feel safer. He rubs my back softly, murmuring. Digging my head into his chest, Soda holds me close, blocking out Darry from view.

"What's wrong, honey?" he asks gently, stroking the back of my head.

"D-Darry." I sputter out, shaking like a leaf.

"What about him? What'd Dare do?" he coos.

"B-beat…H-he beat me." Scattered memories of the dream come flooding back and I shy away from his touch. Soda doesn't notice, or doesn't care, at this point, I'm not sure which.

"Honey. He wouldn't ever hurt you. It was all just a dream. A bad, scary dream, alright?" he pulls back a little, just to look deep into my eyes.

I nod. Still shaking. Still crying. And still unconvinced. Sodapop brings his chair closer, rubbing my hand softly. Darry squats down in front of me, regret filling his face.

"I would never beat you Pony." He says, resting his hands on my knees.

Squeaking a little, I squirm out of his touch. Sighing in defeat, Darry gets up and steps out of the room.

"Ponyboy. Look at me." Soda's gentle voice is replaced with a half-stern, serious one, "Darry won't beat you. He'd rather die himself than hurt you again. He loves you. It was just a dream. Nothing like that will ever happen. Alright? You're safe." He glances to the door, "And you just made your brother feel terrible." I hang my head, upset that he's ashamed of me. "I want you to apologize to him. We're all stressed and hurting right now. Okay, little colt?"

I nod slightly as he motions Darry to come back inside.

"I'm so, so sor-" Dare starts. I cut him off with my hand, cowering back in fear of him getting mad I interrupted. Soda's words echo through my head and I sit back normally.

"I'm sorry Darry. I was scared from a nightmare. I didn't mean to hurt you." I say, playing with the seat seam.

"It's okay, little buddy." He ruffles my hair, a bunch of strands catching onto his hand. He brushes them away, pretending not to notice anything.

I groan, stuffing my face into my arms, "Not my hair."

"It's normal for hair to fall out, see?" Soda repeats the action, hopeful. Sure enough, a few strands catch as well, but I know that's not just it.

"We could cut it so you don't have to watch it all fall out." Darry suggests.

I shrug, not keen on that option either, "I guess."

"You really want to cut it off?" Soda asks, surprised.

I nod reluctantly, looking over to Dare. He gets the point, and leaves to hopefully find a pair of scissors. After a few minutes of silence, he reappears, the pointy object in hand. Silently cringing and regretting my decision, I pull myself up so he has access to my hair. For a second, I almost ask if Soda could do it instead, but change my mind. I feel a sense of déjà vu for a moment, with Johnny at the church, before shoving the thought out of my mind. Let's just hope this 'event' doesn't end as badly.

"Ready Pone?" He asks, breath hot on my ear.

"Ready as I'll ever be." I mumble stubbornly.

I feel the cool metal against the back of my neck, gulping as I hear the sound of my hair being cut off. Soda stands at my side, watching Darry, but still close to me.

"Golly, his hair sure is long." I hear Sodapop whisper quietly. Dare grunts out a half garbled response, detaching more of my second most prized possession. With the thought, I grab Gone with the Wind out from under my leg and flip through the pages, trying to take my mind off my hair.

I stupidly glance down, a sick feeling in my stomach as I see all the hair scattered across the ground.

"Haven't you gotten enough off?" I whine.

Wordlessly, he continues his work., humming lightly to himself. It's "Jailhouse Rock" and I smile inwardly.

"Number forty-seven said to number three: "You're the cutest jailbird I ever did see." Soda bursts out suddenly.

I let out a laugh as Darry joins in the singing.

"I sure would be delighted with your company, come on and do the Jailhouse Rock with me. Let's rock, everybody, let's rock. Everybody in the whole cell block was dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock."

My brothers poke at me, trying to get me to sing along. I shake my head, pretending to zip my mouth shut.

Shrugging, they continued on, "The sad sack was a sittin' on a block of stone  
way over in the corner weepin' all alone. The warden said,-"

"Hey, buddy, don't you be no square. If you can't find a partner use a wooden chair." I hollered at the top of my lungs.

"Let's rock!" Soda leans in, punching my arm playfully.

"Everybody, let's rock!" Darry laughs out.

"Everybody in the whole cell block." I let out a small giggle.

"Was dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock!" We're laughing too hard to finish the song, so we just end it there.

The door creaks open and I shoot my gaze toward it. Doctor Ford walks in with a smile and a blush creeps over my cheeks.

"You boys seem to be having fun." She looks us over.

Glancing up, I see both Darry and Soda are blushing too. Dare ruffles my hair up a bit, a couple already cut strands freeing themselves.

"My, you look different." Her eyes go wide.

Soda finds a mirror in one of the cabinets and brings it to me. She's right. I do look different. My hair is cut almost down to my scalp and it's so thin that the color looks lighter than I'm used to. I run a hand through it, letting out a long, low whistle at the feel. There's not much there. A pang of sadness hits, but I know this would've happened eventually.

"I'm glad you chose to do this, Ponyboy. Many patients keep their hair long and get even more depressed when it starts to fall." She pats my shoulder. "Your chemotherapy is done for today."

Doctor Ford removes the needle, covering it with a bandage. I freely move my arm, happy to have it gone.

"If you would come with me, I'll take you to your room." The three of us get up, following her down the bright hallway.

She pushes the door of room 3328 open. My room. My bag is sitting next to the bed, books inside waiting to fling open. I had to have Soda sit on top of it to close it. Of course, he didn't mind the books being gone. Not like he was ever going to read them. I lay Gone with the Wind on top, crawling into the bed. With a small wave, Doctor Ford leaves, her blonde hair shimmering in the light.

"You know who she reminds me of?" Soda asks.

"Sandy?" He looks at me in shock. _Okay…not Sandy._

"Mom." Darry doesn't take his eyes off the door.

I look at the both of them like they're crazy.

"Think about it, Pony." Soda starts, waving his hands wildly for emphasis, "The hair. The eyes. She's always helping people. Always happy. She's the spittin' image of Momma, for cryin' out loud!"

And I do. I do think about it. And Soda's right. Doctor Ford does remind me of Mom. She could pass for her twin. Sadness floods over me. I really miss my parents. I would give anything to have them back. At least just to see them again. Just once. To be able to wrap my arms around Mom again. To breathe in the flowery smell of her perfume. To impress Dad with how much taller and mature I've gotten. To tell them how much I love them.

"You okay, Pone?" Soda's voice breaks into my thoughts.

I nod, rubbing at my eyes, surprised to find tears falling.

"I miss them too." Darry pulls me in a hug, reading my mind.

_Hey Johnny and Dallas. Could you say hi to Mom and Dad for us? Tell 'em we really miss them. We'll see you guys later. Hopefully not too soon, though._

**A/N: I don't own Jailhouse Rock either. The wonderful Elvis Presley does. :)  
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	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Sorry for the wait everyone! Here's Chapter 6! :D It's pretty short, so sorry about that, but I didn't want to start the next bit before including this. Kind of a filler chapter. Thanks so much _Guest_ for the idea! I changed it up a bit but I hope it suits your imagination! :)  
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**Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders. I think we _all_ know I'm not SE Hinton. That'd be pretty cool though...**

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"Goodnight Pony. Night Darry." I can make out Soda's smile in the dark as he drifts off.

"Get some sleep Ponyboy, we'll still be here in the morning." Darry's voice is heavy with sleep and it's not very long until his breathing slows and evens.

I look out to the stars twinkling outside the window. Their light illuminates the room, coating everything in a bright white blanket. The moon sits high in the sky, smiling down at the Earth. I play with the hem of my shirt as a yawn escapes. Leaning back against the bed, I close my eyes. Sleep creeps up on me until something slams out in the hallway. _Stupid nurses._ There's lots of hushed yelling before the silence fades back in.

I turn back to the night sky, all tiredness gone. A burst of light runs across the dark. A shooting star. What was that saying Mom would say when we saw one? I close my eyes, a memory flooding through.

_We were outside one night. I was four, almost five. I leaned back into her as I sat on the porch railing. The night breeze whistled through the trees, the stars brightening everything. A streak shot through the clear sky, a shimmering trail following in its path._

_"Did you see that Ponyboy?" her voice was warm against my ear. The smell of her perfume- of flowers- swirled around me._

I close my eyes, the one thing I want obvious in my mind.

_ I nodded, marveling in the star's afterglow._

"_That was a shooting star; you have to make a wish now."_

_I had closed my eyes, thinking of something to wish for._

"Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight." I whispered in the quiet hospital room. I leaned against the bed, almost feeling the silky material of her nightgown pressing reassuringly into my back.

"_Wish I may, wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight." She finished._

_Suddenly, the wish came to me and I shut my eyes extra hard. I moved my lips along with the statement, concluding with a yawn._

"_What'd you wish for baby?"_

"_I wished that you and Daddy will stay with me, Sodapop, and Darry forever." I threw my arms around her neck happily as she carried me back into the warmth of the house._

"I wished that everything'll be back to normal. That this was all just one big scary dream. You and Dad are still alive, Johnny and Dallas are still here, I don't have cancer. That I'll be back home, waking up from Soda and Darry tickling the life out of me soon."

"What'd you say Pone?" a smooth voice, husky with sleep, breaks into my mind.

"Nothing Soda, I just can't sleep." I lie.

"Okay, well, keep trying." his breathing turns quiet within minutes.

I flick a smile back toward the 'Man in the Moon' and lay my head against the pillow. The dark veil of sleep covers over me, a heart-breakingly sweet dream taking place.

A bright green field surrounds me. The sky is just as- if not more- blue as Dallas' eyes. A couple puffy white clouds roll through. The whole setting is very light and cheery. I look out in front of me, squinting against the sun.

"Pony!" I know that voice. It clicks and I'm filled with shock.

_ No way. It's not possible._

I'm tackled into a hug before I get the chance to turn around. The arms wrap around me tightly, stronger and more confident than before he died.

"C'mon, man, lay off 'im a little." the New York accent chuckles. As soon as it hits my ear, I just about throw myself at the blonde.

Johnny sheepishly lets me go, shaking his bangs to cover his eyes. His scar is gone, along with all other cuts and bruises. His dark eyes are bright, not as scared and hurt as the previous ones I've seen. Dally stands back a little like he owns the place, a cigarette hanging loosely from his lips. _Good old Dally. Same as always._

I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out so I'm stuck staring at the two like a fish gasping for air.

"Shut your mouth kid, it's just us." Dal flips his collar up, a smile playing at the corners of his lips.

"It- It's good to see you guys." I stutter out, shaking off the shock.

A smile plants itself against my face and- even though I know he'll kill me- I run up to Dally and wrap my arms around his waist, stuffing my face into his shirt. I breathe in the familiar mix of cologne and cigarette smoke.

"What the hell?" his voice sounds almost appalled.

I let go, backing up slowly, ready to bolt if he's pissed. His blue flames aren't as high as they used to be, some compassion and caring floating through them.

"You tell _anyone_ about that and I'll fucking skin you." I smile and he gives me an incredulous look.

"What was that look for?" I cock an eyebrow.

"You're a weird kid, Pony." He laughs loud, tossing his head back.

I turn to Johnny and return the earlier hug. "Why are you guys here?"

"We wanted to see you. Your mom and dad told us to come too. Said you needed to see us."

Sitting down, I breathe in the smell of freshly cut grass, mumbling a quick, "I'm scared."

"We all are." Johnny's voice is quiet beside me.

"But you guys know what'll happen." I frown, fiddling with the green blades.

"Just cause we're dead and in heaven don't mean we can see into the future. We're not psychics, idiot." Dally's eyes soften a little but he doesn't shed the old shell of hatred.

"We don't know anything. We're just as much in it as you are Ponyboy." Johnny says.

"What ever happened with that Bob Sheldon? He up here too?" I try to change the subject. I'd rather not talk about my death. Especially like it'll happen soon.

"Yeah. He's awful scary though. Sure don't like me, that's for sure. I bet he'd kill me if I wasn't already dead. Y'know, for revenge."

I choke back a noise that tries to escape my throat. I almost forgot they were dead. It's like they're right here next to me. Alive.

The whole scene gets blurred for a second, a "Pony, wake up." filling my ears. _No. Not yet. Please._

"You gotta go, Pone." Johnny smiles sadly.

"I don't wanna. I want to stay with you guys." I shake my head, balling the grass in my fist as if it'll keep me planted to the ground.

"We'll see ya later, kid." Dal walks over, ruffling my hair.

"But-"

"Keep fighting Ponyboy. Everything'll be okay. I promise." Johnny's voice echoes out, the bright blue skies being replaced by an off-white hospital ceiling.

Soda smiles happily, already grabbing the phone at my side to call for breakfast. Darry stretches in his makeshift bed, rolling his eyes with a laugh as he hears Sodapop talking to the nurses downstairs.

"Order enough food there?" he asks when Soda hangs up.

He sticks his tongue out at Darry, pretending to get shot when Dare fakes his hands as a gun.

"I've been shot!" he yells dramatically.

"Hush Soda, there's people sleeping still." Darry laughs.

_I sure hope you're right Johnny. I'd hate to have to leave them. It was amazing seeing you two again, can't wait until next time._

**A/N: Thanks for reading guys! The only way I can get better is through reviews, so review? And a million and one thanks for all the positivity and amazing comments. You guys are wonderful**


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